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With all due respect?: Slip, slop, slap a writ

Every Issue

Cite as: (2004) 78(1-2) LIJ, p.90

Enjoy laughing at the failings, foibles and faux pas of others? Of course you do. Then why not contribute to WADR ?
By email to, by fax on 9607 9451 or by mail C/- The LIJ, 470 Bourke Street, Melbourne 3000.

Enjoy laughing at the failings, foibles and faux pas of others? Of course you do. Then why not contribute to WADR ?
By email to, by fax on 9607 9451 or by mail C/- The LIJ, 470 Bourke Street, Melbourne 3000.

If you’re a solicitor with an aversion to getting sand in your Florsheims, then turn away now.

The University of Newcastle Legal Centre has set an example that WADR hopes will be followed by many Victorian firms.

The legal centre moved its free legal advice clinic from the university to the Newcastle Beach Surf Club Pavilion, metres away from the sun and surf of the New South Wales northern coast.

The clinic was scheduled to run each Wednesday, from 7 January to 11 February from 10am to 3pm. It was to be run by the students and supervised by the legal centre’s lawyers to make sure all advice was dispensed between the red flags.

The centre’s director John Boersig said the centre went to the beach in an attempt to target young people in need of legal advice.

“There are major issues that young people have that relate to their difficulties of living in today’s world and unfortunately young people tend not to come to get advice until it’s too late.”

However, WADR sends these warnings to those who use the service and to those who are thinking of moving their practice down to Black Rock:

  • watch out for the sharks;
  • “surf” is an aquatic term, not another name for an articled clerk;
  • mouth-to-mouth is a legitimate method of resuscitation and is not to be used at the next firm Christmas party;
  • a bar is made of sand, not crusty old barristers;
  • solicitors can help empanel juries, but are banned from owning panel vans; and
  • barristers are reminded to sign the Bar roll and not the chicko roll.

If a week is a long time in politics (just ask deposed federal opposition leader Simon Crean), then it is an eternity in publishing. In the December 2003 LIJ, WADR poked fun at the Auckland District Law Society’s Law News for running a one-year-old item as fresh news. The danger when you do something like that, it can all fly back into your face.

Well, hand WADR a towel please.

Between writing the December WADR column and it appearing in print, two items became out of date.

While the December LIJ was at the printers, state Attorney-General Rob Hulls announced that Supreme Court Justice Marilyn Warren would become that Court’s new Chief Justice. This made obsolete the two items in WADR about Mr Hulls’ hunt for the next Chief Justice.

It also condemned to history the article on page 25 of the same edition titled “Judicial dispute over women barristers”, which quoted a letter by “Supreme Court Justice Marilyn Warren”.

And, to top it all off, the edition’s letters section ran a letter by the aforementioned Mr Crean, complete with “leader of the opposition” moniker.

You can almost hear the snickering from across the Tasman.

Thank you to an anonymous member of the legal profession for this little gem.

The practitioner had been corresponding with VicTrack (formerly the Public Transport Corporation) for many years to secure a lease for existing long-time tenants of property owned by VicTrack.

About four years after negotiations began the practitioner in question received a letter from VicTrack regarding the “long outstanding matter of the availability of a long tease to your clients”.

The practitioner tells WADR that despite numerous letters since the result has been no lease and all tease.

During 2003, WADR ran a series of emails that had fallen into our inbox outlining ways in which we would be able to share in tens of millions of American dollars for doing next to nothing.

Those emails eventually stopped appearing and it seemed the inbox would be forever rid of such scam emails.

Well, WADR got too over-confident.

Late in 2003 this scam email appeared in the WADR inbox from Spain.

Note: WADR has left in the typos and interesting use of English and recommends it is read in an accent similar to that of Manuel from Fawlty Towers.

REFERENCE: RSL/11504002/03: BATCH: 30/0020/LRP

This is to inform you of the release of the ROYAL SWEEPSTAKE LOTERIA held on the 15th of November 2003, but due to the mix up of numbers and addresses, the results were released on the 24th of November 2003.

Your name was attached to ticket number 085-13376077-10 with serial number 51390-8 that drew the lucky numbers of 10-16-21-31-48-49, which consequently won the lottery in the 3rd category. You have therefore been approved for a lump sum pay of Euros 2,800.809 (TWO MILLION EIGHT HUNDRED THOUSAND EIGHT HUNDRED AND NINE EUROS ONLY) in cash credited to file with REF: N?.RSL/3662367114/13. This is from a total cash prize of Euros 70,020.225, shared among the 25 international winners in this category.

Note that all participants in this lottery program have been selected randomly through a computer ballot system drawn from over 20,000 companies and 30,000 individual email addresses from all search engines and web sites. This promotional program takes place every year. We hope your lucky name will draw a bigger cash prize in the subsequent programs.


Your fund is now deposited with a Security Company and is insured in your name. Due to mix up of some numbers and names, we ask that you keep this award from public notice until your claims has been processed and the money remitted to your account as this is part of our security protocol to avoid double claiming of unwarranted taking advantage of this program by participants as it has happened in the past.

To begin your lottery claims, please contact your claims agent Mr Raul Miguel Foreign operation manager EUROCEAN INSURANCE AND SECURITY SA on ... [telephone and email address deleted to protect the naive].

Remember, all prize money must be claimed not later than 10th of December 2003. Any claim not made before this date will be returned to the MINISTERIO DE ECONOMIA Y HACIENDA. And also be informed that 10 per cent of your lottery winning belongs to (IBERO PROMOTION COMPANY SA) because they are the company that bought your ticket and played the lottery on your name. NOTE: this 10 per cent will be remitted after you have received your winnings prize because the money is insured in your name already.

NOTE: In order to avoid unnecessary delays and complications, please remember to quote your reference and batch numbers in every correspondence with your claim agent. Furthermore, should there be any change of address, please do inform your claim agent as soon as possible. All documents and certificates related to your winning prize will be send to you by your claims agent Mr Raul Miguel.

CONGRATULATION!!!!! Once again from all members of our staff and thank you for being a part of our International promotions program.

We wish you continue good fortunes.

As does WADR in 2004.


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