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Break out of the loop

Break out of the loop

By Virginia Warren

Health Wellbeing 

What to do when your emotions have hijacked you. Tips When angry and unravelling, focus on your breath and regain your power. Acknowledge your anger and only give it 90 seconds. Think of something that makes you feel better – your dog? Every emotion you’ve ever felt started with a thought. While some thoughts are intelligent and well-crafted, others persist as a complete distraction to our otherwise focused minds. But then there are the ones that present as unpleasant public emotional displays, when you least expect it. Picture being on the receiving end of a less than flattering remark uttered by Opposing Counsel. You feel a heat rush as it swiftly morphs into full blown anger. Instead of remaining cucumber cool, you rebut with words of an unprofessional nature sending the incident swiftly south from there. Let’s break down what just happened. The incident created within you an angry thought, which sent neurochemicals into your body, transmitting messages on how prickly you now feel. Your body obliges by sending a message back to your brain saying “I’m feeling prickly, I must be angry”. Your intelligent brain acknowledges that you do feel anger and sends more messages to anchor those prickly feelings firmly in place. You have now created a thought/feeling loop. You continue to unravel as you surreptitiously curse OC for “causing” the incident and in the process lose your train of legal thought. OC and the incident now hold your undivided attention. Do you realise that you have just given your personal power away? And that certainly was not part of your brief. For some immediate liberation from the dreaded thought/feeling merry-go-round: Begin by retrieving your personal power, or you’ll remain scattered and depleted of energy. Regaining power can only occur in the present moment. Focusing on your breath is an instant way to achieve this. It’s not hard to do and no one needs to know you’re doing it. Draw in a slow and deep breath through your nose and into your belly to activate your parasympathetic nervous system for some instant calm. Then acknowledge your anger. Ask yourself why you think it reached that level. Know that it has a real purpose in the instance before you. It is there for a reason. Most people try to push it away, which is counterproductive. Be with your anger, feel where it is in your body, but only give it 90 seconds of your valuable time. If your anger hasn’t dissipated by then, there are other factors at play. Now consciously choose a better thought. Your subconscious just removed the power of thought choice from you, now you are taking it back. Your unravelled moment was a product of your subconscious thinking. Conjure up thoughts of anything that helps you feel better – perhaps your dog’s smiling face might help? Finally, mentally thank the incident for showing you that something within you needs a tune-up. In this setting, the world is your mirror. The above tips are your rescue remedy, but will remain as a bandaid solution until you uncover what’s really going on within you subconsciously. In my new book Let’s Kill Kiss All The Lawyers! . . . said no-one, ever” I explain in greater detail why the negative thought loops and triggers continue to appear and why the challenging people in your life are there to give you clues to their origin. There truly is alchemy within your internal conflicts. Looking at life this way, you will approach unfortunate incidents with curiosity rather than frustration. Trust me, conflicts are a good thing. Virginia Warren is a partner at Stidston Warren Lawyers.

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